Not smart enough, not pretty enough, not strong enough, not talented enough, not loving enough, not young enough, not disciplined enough, not brave enough…

If you’re caught in the “not enough” trap, nothing about you ever seems quite good enough. There will always be women that we perceive as better than us. You would think that as women over 50, we would be satisfied with who we are, yet still we compare ourselves with others.

A friend recently had a small birthday celebration and the guests where sharing what they admired about her. They shared that she is a wonderful friend; is caring; fun to be around; a great cook and host; is a good confidant; has a great work ethic; great organizer and much more.

The ‘birthday girl’ was surprised at what her friends shared. When she looks at herself she tends to, as many of us do, focus on the negatives.

“If I’m 98% perfect in anything I do, it’s the 2% I’ve messed up I’ll remember when I’m through,” begins a little ditty. The problem begins when we allow others – family members, our spouse, friends, a boss, popular culture – to define who we are or are not. Unfortunately, these roots of self-image often stretch far back into childhood, when negative messages we received from others imprinted on us as being inadequate.

As women over 50, we can choose to truly accept ourselves – with all our strivings, quirks, faults and shortcomings – as being enough right now. The more we do that, the less vulnerable we are to the opinions of others.

Are you using your ‘perceived’ shortcomings as an excuse for not taking action to live the life of your choosing? Would it really make any difference if you were younger, more attractive, thinner, fitter, healthier and had more energy? Would you really take action to change your life?

List 10 things you like about yourself. Over the next few days, keep pulling out this piece of paper and focus on these positive points. Maybe organise a coffee or a lunch with a few girlfriends and during this time share a few things you like and admire about each other. You will ALL feel wonderful!

Life is a never-ending process of learning and growing in skills, experience, wisdom and compassion. Most of us are not spectacular in any category of life. And yet each one of us is worthy, lovable, competent, effective, attractive and smart enough to live lives of contribution, caring and value.

4 Responses to “Enough Not Being Enough!”

  1. So very true. We are often our own worst critique.

  2. Great article Bev. We tend to compare oiursellves to others, taking the short straw. We are too harsh on ourselves.

  3. Thanks Michele. We tend to be hardest on ourselves.

  4. Thanks for taking the time to comment Ingrid. We should value ourselves more.

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